Scene: midnight, my bed.
Me: Cut it out
Brain: What do you mean cut it out I don’t know what you’re even saying to me right now
Me: I said cut it out. I want to go to sleep and you keep talking
Brain: Okay okay okay. That’s chill. I respect that you have things to do tomorrow. I’ll shut up so you can get some sleep. You and me, we’re good
Me: . . . *gets drowsy*. . .
Brain: *whispers* remember that one stupid thing you said ten years ago?… yoooou suuuuck….
Scene: 10:00 pm, my office
Me: Imma look at those pictures now
Heart: Why do you do this to me?
Me: But Imma look at those pictures of my kids when they were babies
Heart: You know how I get
Me: Yeah, but Imma look
Me: Oh, shit, you were right
Heart: *with dying breath* youuuuuu sssssuck
Scene: 10:00 a.m., running track
Me: Okay, Imma run
Knees: *squeaking* You’re gonna what?
Me: Imma run
Me: Imma run real slow
Right knee: Shouldn’t you lose a little weight first?
Me: shut up
Left knee: remember what happened last time? Do the words plantar fasciitis mean NOTHING to you?
Right knee: *calls down to foot* dude, she’s doing it again
Brain: note to self–buy ibuprofen. In bulk
All together: yoooouuu sssssuck